happy new years eve!

a woman who is a regular at my job sat and talked with me for a while on saturday. amongst other things, we talked about what's going on in my school life, how i like my job, and what i want for the future. out of all the things we talked about, she had some wise words for me before she left with her husband.

"Don't let up for the world. Make the world get out of your way."

it felt so wise. i felt like ancient knowledge had been passed down to me through her from generations of women before us. she talked to me about how women used to not be able to have jobs -- how we used to be dependent on men and we should take full advantage of the world around us. I love her.

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happy new year to all the people who are searching for something. i wish you only the best in the upcoming year (and beyond). i hope you find exactly what you're looking for - exactly the way it was meant to reach you. bless you all :)

i'm officially two months into college, and it's been awesome. that much has not changed. however, i'm getting into a bit of a rough mindset. i really just don't feel good enough.

my band program was rough from sixth grade all the way until senior year. i had to teach my classmates as i was teaching myself, trying to learn everything as i went. we went through like 4 directors, and my seventh grade year we basically only had substitutes (which meant NO PLAYING!!)

now that i'm at the collegiate level, there's a lot of people who have been given a lot more opportunity than i have, and it's been a litte rough. there's been people who have been given private lessons a good majority of their time playing, people who come from big programs, etc. and then there's me. i don't know. i'm super grateful to be there, and i know that i worked really hard to get where i am... i just have to keep working hard, is all. it's just a little discouraging when you're supposed to already know a lot of the stuff that i just was never taught.